How To Use Self-Talk To Get The Results You Want
Person looking at herself in the mirror, contemplating her identity.
How do you see yourself?
Few of us take the time to consider how we see ourselves and how this affects our leadership and life. Our identity is formed by a combination of factors which include: our perceived strengths and weaknesses, our experiences and how we interpret them, our passions and what people tell us about ourselves; especially the people closest to us and those in our formative years. The sum of this helps us to form how we see ourselves and what we think about ourselves.
What we tell ourselves everyday matters. Whether positive or negative, our thoughts about ourselves create our emotions that drive our actions that produce results and ultimately, the life we lead. How we identify ourselves can help us to actualize our potential and give us the opportunity to live the life we want. So, when it comes to work-related or other life situations, what we say to ourselves is relevant.
Make Your Self-Talk Work For You
Self-talk is our internal dialogue – the words, language and conversations that we have with ourselves that reveals the thoughts, beliefs and ideas that we have about ourselves.
Make sense of our situation. It helps us to make sense of our current situations and based on the words we use and it evokes an image in our mind about our performances. We use it to shape our current and future realities, because we use it as a filter for our decision-making process. For example, if you see yourself as someone who is a poor communicator and you have a presentation to make to your board; after the presentation, you are likely to use unfavourable words to describe your performance that re-enforces the negative image you have of yourself in your mind.
The Effects of the Inner Voice. When your inner-voice is validating, supportive and focuses on what you do well and the opportunities that exist, it can boost your outlook and your results. Likewise, when the voice is critical and harsh, seeing only your faults and what you do poorly, the effects can be damaging and limiting.
Interrupt and Interrogate Your Inner Critic
Negative self-talk can be damaging because it generally goes unchecked and unchallenged. I like to tell my clients to put on their Detective hat so they can notice when “Negative Nelly” rears its head. That way, they give themselves the opportunity to stop the negative thinking.
The other hat I encourage them to wear is the Dentist hat, so they can extract the negative thinking and reframe the critical statements into questions that can help them re-shape their reality and keep them focused and motivated toward their goals.
The final hat is the Encoder hat, so they can replace negative thoughts like “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not going to get the promotion I want”, “I can’t be…” and “I can’t do…” with constructive questions like “what do I need to improve my chances of getting this promotion”? Or “how can I show up more confidently today”? Questions like these will interrupt self-sabotage and allow you to use your inner-dialogue for self-discovery and exploration.
The more you talk to yourself intentionally and purposefully, the more opportunities you give yourself to find creative solutions to the problems you face and get the outcomes you want.
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I’m Nadine Seaga and I’m a Mindset & Leadership Coach, Founder & Chief Energy Officer (CEO) of People Development Consultants. I can help you to harness your full potential and the full potential of those you lead! Check out my free masterclass at http://www.pdconsults.com/freemasterclass Get started on this life-changing work.