The surprising secret to becoming a better leader.

My family and I hadn’t been to Negril in a long time and wanting to make an adventure of the whole trip, we decided to plot all our stops along the way on our vehicles navigation system. We included the approximate time we wanted to spend at each stop as well as when we wanted to arrive at our destination. This was important because the hotels restaurant we were staying at in Negril closed at a certain time and I knew that everybody would be hungry by the time we got there. Much like a road-trip, your leadership journey requires a destination as a first step and a starting point as the next step and that’s often the problem. Unfortunately, too many leaders are unclear as to where they are on their leadership journey.

As you think about leadership and where you want to go, getting clear on where you are is often the challenge, especially when some leaders are unwilling to acknowledge the difficulties they experience around their ability to establish their leadership voice and develop their leadership presence, not to mention, overcoming imposter syndrome.

Here are some questions that you can ask yourself.

-          How do you show up to yourself? Your team?

-          Is your team clear about the business objectives for the quarter? Do they know why this objective is important now?

-          Do your team members feel valued? How do you know?

-          What evidence do you have that suggest that your team members trust your leadership?

-          What evidence does your team have that you trust them?

 Knowing where you are, begins with knowing yourself.

The way to live and lead, the way to achieve successes in your life and in your leadership, the way to impact others is to first impact yourself and the way to doing that is to know exactly who you are, how you show up in your life and how you show up to and for others. Understanding not only your conscious thoughts but also your unconscious thoughts, the thoughts that you are not even aware of; these are thoughts that you think so often, that it becomes a belief. It is these beliefs that drives your actions.

This knowing of yourself is what will help you to bring awareness to yourself. It will give you your starting point.

Here is one way to help you become more aware of where you are.

Below are 5 perspectives. Consider which of these closest align to your perspective, your attitude and what you believe. You may also find that your attitude differs in different situations so think about in which situations do these perspectives ring true for you.

1.       I Lose. I can’t compete with others; I’ll never be able to do “it” as well as others. I don’ have what it takes.

I feel anxious, insecure, guilty, self-doubt, resignation and embarrassed.

 2.       I Win, You Lose. Why can’t they see that my way is right. I’m going to show them. I want to win by any means possible. This company couldn’t survive without me. If only my co-workers were better skilled, we could do so much better. I’ll show them that I am the best.

I feel anger, frustration, hatred, blame, greed, defiance and resentment

 3.       I Win. I want to win, if you win too, that’s fine. I want to do better than you, but I don’t have to embarrass you. This is good enough; I have a good plan but will only do it if I’m sure it will work.

I feel forgiveness and toleration.

4.       You Win. I really care about this project/team/company. I truly love and appreciate the opportunity to work here. I want to support my team in attaining their individual goals and I hope that we all do well as a team. I want to support my team when things are not going well for them.  I want to make sure that we all have fun.

I feel compassion, concern, love, caring, gratitude and playful.

5.       We Both Win or We Don’t Play. Whatever happens, there are so many opportunities to learn and grow. I may not always like what comes my way, but I know it will serve me in some way.

I feel confident, calm, and curious. I also feel a sense of acceptance, peace and trust.

Once you determine your overall attitude to life, think about how well this attitude has served you both personally and professionally and decide where you want to GROW from here.

I’m Nadine Seaga and I’m a Life & Leadership Coach, Founder & Chief Energy Officer (CEO) of People Development Consultants. I can help you to harness your full potential and the full potential of your most valuable asset! Check out more of my website here at pdconsults.com for more information or shoot me an email at nadine@pdconsults.com to connect and get started on this life-changing work.